I knew I wanted to try breastfeeding when I had kids and I am so glad I did. I grew up with the mindset that I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed since my mother was not able to breastfeed me. She said she just didn’t have any milk and that her breasts were too small. However, I still wanted to at least try for my daughter.

Expecting to be like my mother and not be able to produce any breastmilk and having a crying fussy baby wanting so badly to eat, I was pleasantly surprised by my first time producing a drop of breastmilk. It took over 72 hours of wondering and doubt and up and downs and then seeing the first couple drops, I felt a sense of accomplishment and I felt like I was truly a mother.

 I was surprised I was able to produce milk since I expected nothing. 

Breastfeeding is something that is so unique to every mother and every baby. I struggled a little finding my way of feeding my baby but I learned a lot throughout. A lot of the time, I felt like I didn’t know what I was doing but what I did know was I wanted to give my baby my breast milk. I made myself a goal that I thought wasn’t too long or short and would help me feel a good sense of accomplishment as a mother: breastfeed or exclusively pump and use breastmilk for 6 months.

The first time I was given a hospital breast pump was just about 3 hours after I had given birth to my sweet baby girl. I felt so nervous and afraid of pumping, I had seen them but never really used them or watched someone else use them, and it seemed so complicated and unknown to me with all the different parts. I just let my nurse know I did not know how to use the pump and had no idea about when and what goes where and she was super sweet and eased my anxiety.

The care team let me rest after I had a tough labor. Read more about it here. My first time pumping, I felt so strange, the process of pumping was so new and it felt weird and slightly uncomfortable but it didn’t hurt. You basically have two cone shaped plastic cups that are attached to a silicone tube and to the pumping machine. The breast pump can adjust how hard to suction and how fast to go. So the first time I put the pump on, I watched my nipples expand and deflate, up and down, just waiting for milk to come out. My nurse had me set up and told me to pump every 2-3 hours for 15 minutes around the clock to mimic feeding my baby and help my milk come in. My baby was admitted into the NICU so she was not with me at bedside at the time, read about that here.  

As I learned the art of pumping, I went on every three hours, setting an alarm on my phone for three days. I had nothing, not a single drop of milk and I began to feel discouraged. I was beyond exhausted going back and forth visiting my infant in the NICU and trying to feel better healed myself. I kept telling my husband I don’t know if this will work and in the middle of the night pumping sessions I just held back my tears, wondering if this was all for nothing. 

Going to the NICU was hard, constantly being asked if I was pumping and how that was going. I was trying my best and I knew my baby was beginning to get hungry wanting to eat more. I went to bond to my daughter with skin to skin to help me try to bring in my milk and I kept on going, taking my days hour by hour at this point. About three and a half days in, I began to see condensation in my pump parts, not quite drops but the parts were getting foggy so I thought ok it should be coming soon and I kept it going. 

When I began to see my milk, I felt so elated and excited that my premature daughter was going to get my breast milk. I had small 1 milliliter syringes to get the tiny drops I had produced and I had felt so proud of it. I know every drop counts as maybe my baby will not be able to feel full but maybe she can taste my milk and have nurses do some mouth care, which is when we put the drops of breastmilk onto a long q-tip and bring it to the baby’s mouth to suck. My husband was so relieved and he was also so excited telling his friends my milk had come in, which made me laugh because why would they want to know that?! When I kept pumping, .2 milliliters became one milliliter and that became 2 milliliters and then a few 4 milliliters, and I labeled each of these carefully and brought them to the hospital for my nurses to feed my baby with. This increase happened in about a day! 

My breasts began to fill full and I began to dry nuzzle my daughter when I was given the green light at the NICU for practice feeding her. She helped me bring in my milk even more and eventually my dry nuzzling turned into breastfeeding. She was young so it took a few tries to get my daughter to latch. When she did, her body seemed to relax and she seemed so peaceful and content. I loved these very first few times of breastfeeding her, I felt for the first time the strong indescribable bond that I was going to build with her that everyone talks about. 

Throughout the few weeks, I had felt more and more comfortable breastfeeding my daughter. I kept up breastfeeding until I hit about three months when I started to get some low supply issues and I had to supplement. This was hard and tough but I knew this was best for the baby. The hardest part is forgiving myself, that this was not my fault and that I was giving my best and that is the best I can do. This was extremely hard mentally and internalizing being okay with supplementing and figuring out how to increase my supply. 

I eventually did with lots of help from the internet and supplemental cookies and brownies and lots and lots of hydration. I googled so much through my first and only 6 months of breastfeeding and I would love to share my top 12 tips below.

1. Protect your bras. Nipple pads are amazing.

When I started breastfeeding on one nipple, my other nipple would leak like crazy from the “let down” reflex. I felt so bad for wasting milk, but I did eventually use the Haaka which I was able to save about an ounce every time I breast fed and built a freezer stash from this in the beginning. This Haaka, easily found at Target, or Walmart, or any major department store with a baby section, is one of the best things ever for any breastfeeding mom who is looking to build a stash to go back to work. It suctions onto the nipple that is open while the baby is feeding from the other side and it collects the milk that leaks. I also used a whole bunch of disposable and washable nipple pads to catch smaller leaks, but that rarely happened to me. I also used it to protect my bras when my baby would spit up a little and I was not paying attention. The nipple pads are easily found at most major stores as well.

2. Go hands-free. Pumping bras are a life saver. 

3. Your nipples will change!

Nipples were growing with breast tissue in pregnancy and now when you feed the baby, they can shrink too! They are temperature sensitive and can also spread and become really big for the baby. Breasts run on a supply and demand type schedule for filling up and producing milk, especially in the beginning for me as my milk came in.

4. You will cramp in the beginning.

When I had first started pumping, back in the hospital, I would feel super uncomfortable but I was so excited to be pumping. I eventually figured out that it was abdominal cramping that occurs in the first few weeks after giving birth while you pump. The abdominal muscles used to push the baby out are now given the signal that they can contract and tighten back up after the mother starts breastfeeding. The cramping is actually a good sign that breastfeeding is working the way it is supposed to to help get the bleeding to stop after giving birth. Eventually, breastfeeding and pumping feels more enjoyable and less uncomfortable. 

5. It is okay to have low supply. You are not alone. There are tons of resources and supplements out there to help with supply issues

I struggled with supply issues when I got to month three of breastfeeding. I had read online that when your body begins to have periods again, the hormones change and there may be dips in producing breast milk.  I did not have a period until 10 months after giving birth so I thought that when my supply dipped, I was about to start having periods again. However, I think my body was tired and a little stuck at producing two ounces. I was pumping every 2-3 hours and power pumping, looking at anything that could help my supply so that I could give my baby enough milk to sleep, rest, and grow. After a lot of Googling, here’s what helped me. 

At first, I had oatmeal everyday and a lactation treat 3-4 times a day helped me. I liked the Trader Joes Flaxseed Ancient Grains Oatmeal blend for breakfast with some brown sugar and fruit if I had it. I also kept getting MilkyMama’s brownies and oatmeal cookies. This worked for me for awhile, until it didn’t when I hit 5-6 months.

I had kept on my power pumping and I had looked into a medication called Domperidone, I mention later on. For power pumping, I had settled on pumping extra after feeding my daughter twice a day. I would add on a session where I began with pumping for 15 minutes, then I rested for 10 minutes and then back on for 10 minutes and off for 10 minutes and then back on for 10 minutes. This helped keep my supply and build a freezer stash. It was exhausting but I wanted to do my best to reach my goal of 6 months and I was nearly there. 

For the medication Domperidone, there will be lots of mixed reviews on this because it is not recommended here in the United States and can be difficult to get a hold of. However, from everything that I read, I learned that for my situation, I wanted to try this method. I was, of course, very scared and I had done all of my research. It is a medication used primarily to increase stomach movement and intestinal contractions to help decrease nausea or stomach pain. Because this method is not recommended by healthcare here in the US, I will not go into it. Feel free to send a message if you would like to know more about my experience. I found this experience to be positive for my production and this helped me get to my goal of 6 months so I was glad I had tried this medication despite the risks. 

Every mother will go through their own experience of breastfeeding through each baby and they may all be different. Low supply issues happen all the time and it is important to know, there are lots of resources to look at when you become frustrated and discouraged. It is okay to ask for some help from your doctor or lactation consultant. Every mom has her own unique body and it may even be just how their body works and how much they will produce.

6. Ask for help and support. 

Early on my journey, as I learned more and more about breastfeeding and became more comfortable, I kept on my exclusive breastfeeding time with my daughter every hour to three hours for weeks on end. However, I became overwhelmed with my emotions and would just cry out of nowhere. From pure exhaustion to feeling like I lost myself while giving all of myself to my daughter, who knows?! I needed help. I’m a person that likes to do some things myself because sometimes, I want to do it a certain way and I know I can get it done if I do it myself, and this was the case with breastfeeding. Every time I would get to a point where I was aware that I was falling asleep with my daughter feeding or if I just cried out of nowhere because I was tired, I knew I needed some help. I need to sleep and I know it is an important component to help the body rest and keep up milk supply so I asked my husband to watch my daughter and use my fridge milk stash so that I could get a couple hours of sleep. Sometimes, you need this, and for me I never knew if it was going to be during the afternoon or maybe in the middle of the night. I just knew the point where I was being unsafe with my daughter and I needed help. It is okay to ask grandma or grandpa or an aunt or uncle or a close friend for help to watch the baby as well. 

Sometimes, in postpartum, I just needed a break from the whole journey of becoming a parent. You spent most of your life as a kid and on your own and now all of a sudden, you’re a mother and now have to adapt to a new lifestyle. I needed to ask for support and help just so I could take a mental break as well. That is okay and probably better in the long run as you are taking care of yourself so that you can take care of your baby better. I struggled with this as I also felt the mom’s guilt of not spending that time with my daughter of course, but I also did my best to keep thinking that I have to take care of myself so that I can take good care of my daughter.

7. Prioritize what is most important: weight loss or milk supply? It is very difficult to lose weight and maintain supply every mom and baby journey is unique. Don’t compare yourself to others. 

I wanted so badly to lose all the weight I had gained throughout pregnancy and as fast as I could like everyone I saw on television. I struggled with body image and had to research how to lose weight and heal at the same time. However, it was not realistic to me to drop all the weight since I seemed to be decreasing my supply at the same time. So I found my own goal of maintaining my happiness while I breastfed and did my best to connect with my little one during this time with the mindset that it was totally okay to lose weight later. I listened to what my body needed when it was hungry or when it was okay to exercise. 

My main priority and goal was to keep my baby fed and happy, not weight loss so that is what I focused on for the first six months. It took awhile to sink in to focus on myself and my baby and not to compare myself to others. I even had to block my loved ones out who kept on asking about when I would lose weight. This was hard as I felt that I wanted to cry every time I was asked this, but I stood strong and walked away from these negative questions and comments until I was able to talk about it. My husband knew I did not feel great about body image and was able to explain this to family and friends who I might have just walked out in the middle of a conversation. I knew, for myself, that it was okay to do whatever I needed to do to get through breastfeeding and my goal and I trusted that loved ones would understand. 

It is difficult when I feel so alone in this process, yet I do have support when I need it. It truly is a journey on your body and soul to provide for your baby in the first few months of life. 

8. Save your nipples and work on latching the baby correctly. Nipple shields can be amazing. 

I had a huge fear that I would get cracked nipples and be in pain when I kept on breastfeeding and was pleasantly surprised when I never got to this point in my journey. I prepared having nipple creams near my bed and at my pump so I took care of my nipples from the very beginning. My favorite nipple cream I used was the organic nipple butter from Earth Mama that I was recommended by a friend. 

I was also fitted for a nipple shield during my NICU stay and this was helpful in the beginning and also annoying. I liked how the shield protected my nipple and also helped my baby latch better and keep her suck, but it was annoying how I had an extra part to wash and keep clean. I had used the nipple shield for about a month before I began to wean my daughter to my bare nipple. I used it until she was able to get stronger and get to her due date and was able to wean her off the shield. 

When I did feel nipple pain, I would express just a little breast milk after feeding my daughter and rub it onto my nipple and let it dry while I held my daughter as she slept. My nipples also adapted to my baby and eventually, my nipples did not have any issues breastfeeding or exclusively pumping. 

9. Fed is best. You don’t have to breastfeed and can stop whenever you want. A fed baby is best. 

I always grew up thinking I have to breastfeed, that it is better than formula. I learned that no, it is my choice and I can choose to do whatever I need to and it is 100% my decision because it is my body. I learned the phrase I kept seeing everywhere, fed is best. Some mothers struggle with producing milk and latching the baby or maybe they have another medical reason they cannot breastfeed and that is okay. 

I do not have to breastfeed and force myself to feed the baby by breast because it is the best way to feed the baby. Sure, breast milk has lots of nutrients and antibodies that formula does not, but it is not worth sacrificing my mental health just to breastfeed my baby. Some mothers can breastfeed for two year or more, that is awesome! Some mothers can get through the first week and then they choose to do formula, that is great! A fed baby is a happy baby. 

10. The physical and emotional toll every mom pays. 

Breastfeeding takes a lot of energy and patience. Your body burns calories as you feed your baby and you also bond with your baby. It is already exhausting to care for a newborn around the clock, making sure the baby is fed and they have a clean diaper and they are comfortable. It is a marathon to keep on feeding the baby and to be there 24/7 as they grow in the first couple months. It can take a toll on the mother as she feels that it is tough to take a break from childcare. Emotionally, a mothers hormones may affect her as well giving her mood swings. This affected me feeling so happy one moment and then feeling the lowest of lows the next moment. 

For me, I sought out postpartum groups where other mothers were going through similar emotions and physical healing. I felt less alone. It is a huge task and a weight on your shoulders when you want to provide breastmilk and are the only source to provide this milk during this crucial time. 

11. Breastmilk and Formula both have benefits, it is okay to use both!

I chose to breastfeed because I wanted to try it out and see if it was even a possibility for me. I have seen Tedtalks and videos about the difference in breastmilk and formula. Breastmilk has so many beneficial components including antibodies, which I really wanted to give to my daughter to help with getting through sicknesses early in life as a premature baby with little to no immunity. I was worried about the global pandemic as well, but my daughter and I did eventually get COVID pretty early on, however, I think because I got my vaccines, I did not get as sick as I thought I could have been. For that, I am grateful. 

Formula also has it’s benefits as research has been done over the years to try to imitate breastmilk. Formula has helped many women supplement their infants when they are unable to breastfeed or they choose to not breastfeed or their own reasons. 

This research from 2016 goes through the vital components of breastmilk and components for formula as well as benefits(Review of Infant Feeding: Key Features of Breast Milk and Infant Formula – PMC). I wanted to give my daughter breast milk because she was a premature infant and the young babies tend to not have any immune system and need the components of breastmilk to help them grow. I learned throughout breastfeeding that as the baby grows and needs different nutrition, my body as a mother would be able to sense that and in turn provide the necessary nutrients for the baby through breastmilk. It is so amazing how humans figured this out. One of my favorite videos that stuck with me about breastmilk is this Ted Talk given by Laurel Wilson, IBCLC, RLC, BSx, CLE, CCCE, CLD, about breastmilk and how it has evolved and designed specifically for humans Milk – The Food That Helped Evolve Humanity | Laurel A Wilson | TEDxColoradoSprings

As a nurse in the neonatal ICU, I have seen providers opt for breast milk or even donor breast milk for premature babies, especially the ones from second trimester. Breast milk is easier on the stomach than formula, especially in the very beginning as a baby is building the gut biome.

12. Plan ahead. It is difficult to leave the house and every outing needs careful planning.

Breastfeeding is tough, I had to plan out pumping and breastfeeding with my daughters feeding and sleeping schedule. I didn’t want to feel too uncomfortable. It takes about 20 minutes for me to use the breast pump or feed my baby and then to check if I need to get her into a clean diaper and to be dressed. Then I make sure I am dressed and ready to go as well. So it takes about thirty minutes extra to plan ahead for me when I used to just have to roll out of bed and change and leave within 10 minutes. It is a lifestyle change, but well worth the sweet little human snuggles and smiles. 

My journey of breastfeeding taught me so much about being a momma. I’ve taken a new role and learned to work with my own body. Maybe, just maybe, I may do it all over again in the future if I decide to have another little one. I loved the months I did breastfeeding where my daughter was all mine a whole lot of the time. Now that she is older, I love watching her develop and learn about the world around her. 

What do you think about breastfeeding? Let me know, I’d love to hear about what surprised you and if it was anything like you expected.

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